So last night did not end on a high note. Ian and I talked on Friday night when I realized that he was going to be drinking for over two straight weeks, and he promised that he would take a night off last night. Well, he didn't take a night off so much as he took a night easy, which was not what he promised. It amounted to that he had lied to me, which he has never done, and which I am just not okay with. So I'm laying in bed at 11pm when I start to get upset that he broke his promise. Anyway, it ended up being that he has now promised to take the rest of Spring Break off, because of how upset I am. And honestly, I have no way of knowing if he actually does it or not, so he basically gets off the hook because I am required to trust that he will keep his promise even though he just broke one last night, as I have no other choice but to trust him.

This falling on the heels of all the shit I've personally been working on to make better in our relationship is almost too much. If he keeps his promise, I have no way of knowing, so I really don't feel any better about him keeping it or not keeping it. I can only hope that he does keep it, because it really may be the final straw, an honest reason that it isn't working, when he knows how upset I am, now two nights in a row, since it has sparked arguments both nights. And if he breaks his promise, or he lies to me about it, how can I possibly trust him about alcohol ever? I can't be with someone who lies to me about anything, much less something this big.

All I can do is hope that Ian steps up and really means that I matter more than his friends or having a super awesome Spring Break (when really, he could have a fun break without drinking anyway). I actually prayed about it in church today...