It really sucks how a relationship can turn your whole outlook around. Instead of going through the motions of daily activities, being in a relationship, feeling supported and accepted and loved, well, it makes every day a little brighter. Adds a little sparkle to the dulles activities.

I feel like I may never feel as good again. That no one can replace Ian and the light he brought into my life (but let's not forget the darkness too). And that is a perfectly normal feeling, and I accept having it, but it doesn't make it easier to endure. I really just want him back and want it to work.

Instead, I will go out tonight and pretend that it doesn't exist or matter. Because, unfortunately about breakups, even when they are from someone you really planned to have in your life for a while, that is the normal thing to do, too.