I decided to update earlier because I have a lovely, busy night ahead of me, and want to be able to enjoy said night without worry that I might forget to update later! I have Ghost Hunters with a friend Nathan, Psychology Department Pub Night, and Moose Club. Alas, what a busy schedule, from tonight through Saturday night.

Funny how I spent all that time with Ian always wanting to hang out with him and having nobody else to spend time with, and we break up and my schedule fills up like a balloon, eh?

So, on to a new topic (as there are, and will be, no new favorably developments in the Ian arena). Starting tomorrow, I will be doing what I would like to call "The Forgiveness Project." You may remember The Ex Files, if you've been here long enough. This is a bit like that, but a bit different. I realized that, there are acceptable times for grudges, and that I can't push myself to let things go if I'm not ready to. But at the same time, that implies that there are acceptable times to also let things go. And some people need to be forgiven now (some of these grudges are years old). So I am going to write about what happened, rationalize it, to really try and understand and empathize with the decisions these people made to hurt me, and attempt to finally understand and let go. Some of these things are so long ago that they are just not worth worrying about anymore.

The people that I have identified that I feel like it's time to forgive are:
1. Melissa
2. Brian
3. Audrey
4. Nick
5. James
The funny thing is that obviously some of these people are ex-boyfriends, but there's more than just their shitty boyfriend skills that need to be let go (which I would like to think I have let happen).

Additionally, you'll notice Ian is not on that list. I am a firm believer that anger is a good defense for me--when I stopped being angry with Ian last time, I was able to forgive him enough to get back together, and then he had the ability to hurt me again, which he did. So I will stay pissed off with him for a while--I will not forgive him until it suits me best, or it's no longer worth it to be angry anymore.

Another point... If I can actually do this, and really truly empathize and let these petty little decisions go, then I feel like I need to go confess them. Yeah, like at church. Technically, I'm pretty sure you should ask forgiveness when you've denied it others, so I feel like it's time to at least mark one of the sins sitting on my big ol' platter off. Some things I won't confess, but this one I feel like I will. We'll just have to see.

So, check back tomorrow, yo. Because we're embarking on a little expedition. It's also cool because this is going to end right before my birthday, and then I have another clean slate. You know how I love clean slates!