Writing from school, where I have been working, teaching swim lessons, watching Heroes, and working a bit more (but only a bit). Figure it's better to write here before I go home and go to bed.

I realized today, and this may sound amazingly simplistic and a little bit behind-the-times, but I was not unhappy because of the cold weather or the lack of sun or too much homework or... or... or...
I was unhappy because of Ian.

Novel, right?

I just realized that, while all of my excuses come and go, because some days the weather is nice and some days it is not, and some days I have lots of homework, and some days I do not, the only thing that has actually changed in my life in the past four months is that Ian is no longer part of it. Not even not part of my swimming life, not even part of any part of my life in any part. Coherent, right? We don't even speak.

And yes, it's mostly because I'm pissed off.

But it's also mostly because he's not a happy person. And I refuse to not accept control of my own emotions anymore. I am a happy person, because I decide to be a happy person. Not because the circumstances in my life are lined up just right, but because no matter what, I'm not gonna let it get me down.

End of story.

(P.S. As of June 21, I will be moving to my new website... details forthcoming!)